; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it's like iHOP with fire
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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