My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
