I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
