Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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