Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
