Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize