Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize