Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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