peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
