i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
