you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
