the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
