Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
