I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
