His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize