dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize