just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
