i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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