Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
