everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
