I'm gonna have a badass scar
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
