I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
