So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
