Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Randomize
