omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I smell like Dick and happiness
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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