I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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