He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize