I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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