I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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