You made me cry and you don't even care
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
