dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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