Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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