Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
