I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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