well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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