Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
