Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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