He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
