so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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