Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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