Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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