Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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