If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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