Don't you send me to vm
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
