Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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