Joe is yelling at the trees again.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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