Small penises have feelings too.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
