in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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