whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
