you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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