why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
