All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
