And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
