I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize