she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Success! We fucked roommates!
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