I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
