areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
