Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
