I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i want to swaddle you in tequila
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
