ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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