I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
id be glad to
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
