It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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