what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
