Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need water and some morals
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
