the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
