I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
"it" just moved
too bad you live with your parents still
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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