your thong is hanging out like whoa
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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