I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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